Recently I was talking with Maegen about some differences of opinion between her and her daughter’s volleyball coach. As we talked, it reminded me of an incident with my dad and my high school sophomore football coach.
I had made the sophomore football team and had been designated as the starting quarterback for the team. Our practices were becoming longer as we prepared for the first game. Then one night my dad had come to pick me up for a Young Men outing and the practice was going longer than usual. As a side note, the coach of the sophomore football team was also the head baseball coach. Back then, I believe all coaches were actually teachers at the high school. Today, I don’t believe they have to be associated with the school, to be the coach.
As my dad sat in the car waiting for our practice to end, he was getting more and more anxious to get going. So he sent Doug out to find out when practice would be ending. At that time, I was standing on the sideline watching. Doug came up to me and asked when practice would be ending and I responded that I didn’t know. He took that answer to my dad.
About 15 minutes later, dad came on the field. He walked up to me and asked when I thought we would be done. Then the drama began.
Coach: “Denning, when you son is on this field he is under my control and you need permission from me to speak with him.”
Dad: “This is my son and I don’t have to ask permission of anyone to talk with him, no matter where he is.”
At this point my dad’s face was turning red and I had learned that this is not a good sign. The coach walked up to him and they stood face to face talking or should I say yelling. The practice had stopped and everyone was watching the coach and my dad, face to face. I don’t remember all that was said, but I do know that they weren’t pleasantries.
Finally, I heard the coach say, “If your son walks off this field with you, then he is off the team.” I had a decision to make. Do I stay and play football or do I walk off the field with my dad. There have been times in my life when my dad and I did not necessarily see eye to eye, but I still loved and respected the man. So, I walked off the field with him, believing that my football career was over. I went to the dressing room, got dressed and left all my equipment in the coach’s office and went home with my dad. And that was that. I did not go to practice the next day.
Two days later my dad received a phone call from this coach apologizing for the way that he had acted. He then asked my dad if he could ask me to return and play football. My dad’s response, “As far as I am concerned, you can go to hell, but this not my decision, so I will let you talk with my son.” Did I want to play football, yes; did my dad want me to play football, yes. So, when the coach asked me to come back, I said yes. And, if you want to know the truth, I believe my dad was happy that I did, though he would never let that coach know. We went on to be undefeated during my sophomore year, until the last game. I had received a shoulder injury and was not able to play in the game. I went on to play quarterback through high school starting my senior year. I actually believe that the Sophomore Coach had had discussion with the varsity coach and was told to get me back on the team (not sure about that, but it makes the story sound good). I never did play high school baseball because of this coach.
My dad never backed down when it came to his family. He had the courage to stand up to someone in a difficult situation and then he allowed me to make the final decision. I have always respected him for this. I have had and will always have a lot of respect for the man I call “Dad”.
Football according to Doug
I was involved in this incident and here is the story from my side.
Dad and I went to pick Rich up (didn’t remember about the young men’s activity). Dad asked me to go ask Rich what time they were going to end. Rich told me about 9pm. I then returned to the car and report to Dad the time I was told. Dad then responded, “LIKE HELL”. He then proceeded to the field and walked up to Rich to talk with him. When the coach saw dad visiting with Rich, he yelled “Bill, Bill”. The coach repeated the name a couple times but dad ignored him because he was calling Bill. The coach then walked over to where Rich and dad were standing and called him Bill one more time. Dad said, “are you talking to me”? The coach replied yes. Dad said, “My name is not Bill, if you want to talk to me you call me by my name.” Then the coach said basically what Rich said, if you want to talked to that kid why he is on this field you need to ask me first. Meanwhile, when he was saying that the coach was poking dad in the chest with his pointer finger. If you know dad, he does not take that kind of stuff. Dad at this time was fuming. He grabbed the coaches shirt and I could have sworn that he lifted him off the ground, but probably not.
When dad grabbed the coach, I had a few of the players that I played with standing on the sideline and they started yelling, “hit him Dick, hit him Dick.”
After dad let him go, and what Rich said happened. Rich left his uniform at the coach’s office door.
Rich went back to play because the coach called and ask him to come back. Dad told me later that the varsity coach had chewed that coach out and told him to call and apologize to dad and Rich and get Rich back. Rich had the best arm of any kid on the team. Dad also told me that that coach never apologized to him, but asked Rich to come back.
That was the year I was playing 9th grade ball and one of my team mates landed on my had and broke two bones. Because of that I was just helping the coaches with stuff they needed and after Rich went back I was in the locker room and Rich’s coach was also in there. He came up to me and told me that if I was not out there none of that would have happened.
The next year I went out to play for that coach and I always played defensive back or running back. The only position he would let me play was offensive line. I told dad that football was not fun any more. He told me that if I wasn’t having fun to find something else that I enjoyed. I walked away from a game I loved and started working. I don’t remember what I was doing that year, but later got a job in construction and that was good for me because it as helped over the years a lot more than football would have.
Sorry for the length of the addition, but that memory stuck with me very well because it was a big changing point in my life.