I recently finished a book called:

“The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self–Not Just Your Good Self–Drives Success and Fulfillment”         Author:  Todd Kashdan

Since I have found myself quoting from this book a lot lately, I thought I would share the book review and a few of my thoughts.

First, do we all seek fulfillment and happiness, at the expense of what we call our darker side?  We cannot live in a state of “Happiness” all the time.  This so called darker side of ourselves does appear at times and has to be dealt with (see the movie “Inside Out”).

This book covers how critical it is to understand all our emotions and through this understanding we become “Whole”.  By exploring all our emotions, we come to understand ourselves and as the book points out, be more successful.

The following review of the book came from Goodreads.com:

In The Upside of Your Dark Side, two pioneering researchers in the field of psychology show that while mindfulness, kindness, and positivity can take us far, they cannot take us all the way. Sometimes, they can even hold us back. Emotions such as anger, anxiety, guilt, and sadness might feel uncomfortable, but it turns out that they are also incredibly useful. For instance:

• Anger fuels creativity
• Guilt sparks improvement
• Self-doubt enhances performance

In the same vein, we can become wiser and more effective when we harness the darker parts of our personality in certain situations. For instance:

• Selfishness increases courage
• Mindlessness leads to better decisions

The key lies in what the authors call “emotional, social, and mental agility,” the ability to access our full range of emotions and behavior—not just the “good” ones—in order to respond most effectively to whatever situation we might encounter. Drawing on years of scientific research and a wide array of real-life examples including sports, the military, parenting, education, romance, business, and more, The Upside of Your Dark Side is a refreshing reality check that shows us how we can truly maximize our potential. With an appreciation of our entire psychological toolkit, we become whole—which allows us to climb the highest peaks and handle the deepest valleys.

There you have it.  It is all about becoming a “Whole” person, not just a happy person.  The critical part is that of harnessing and understanding our emotions, helping us find success in life and avoiding the self-condemnation that we sometimes do when we slide to our darker side.

Doesn’t it give you a sense of relief to know that we are blessed with tools to help us get through life with all its ups and downs.  What an opportunity we each have for growth and learning, if we just take the time to understand our lighter and darker sides, our “Whole” self.

Let’s be grateful that we are not Happy all the time!!!!