I recently finished a Novel, “The Secrets She Keeps”, by Michael Robothan. The story is about two women in a London suburb, who each have a secret. Their paths cross and their lives become intertwined.  In the end one kept her secret and the other’s was exposed.

Are secrets good or bad?  Do they hurt us or help us?  I am not sure I can answer these questions completely.  But this much I do know, there are some secrets that can cause us a lot of pain.  The sad part is some secrets are carried for life and can stop our emotional growth and freedom.

A man has been married to his wife for over sixty years.  He has raised a wonderful family.  In a reunion with his siblings he feels the need to reveal that he and his wife had tasted of the fruits marriage prior to actually being marriage.  Why would he feel the need to tell this little secret now?  Did he feel that he had to come clean with those he loved?  Who knows the real reason, but the sad part is that he has carried this guilt or shame with him for all those years.  I wonder how much impact it has had on his life.  Why would a person punish himself or herself for so long?  I believe it all comes down to the value we place on what other people think of us.  We think, “I can not tell anyone about what happened because he or she will think less of me.”  The interesting thing about this story is that based on which type of society a person lives in, would dictate how a person would feel.  Some societies would look at this as a non-issue and therefore the person moves past the event and lives with no pain or remorse.  In another place or time, it would be a shameful act and cause fear of retribution, possibly being shunned in the society and therefore the shameful action is buried deep and hidden from others.  The book “The Scarlet Letter” by Nathaniel Hawthorne is a prime example of this.

I do believe there are secrets that are better left alone.  But even these have to be addressed and resolved in one way or another.  We may never tell what we know, but we have to come to a resolution about how we handle it.  We cannot allow it to interfere with our life or how we feel about ourselves.  This life is too precious to waste on past events or things that cannot be changed.  But there are some secrets that if we choose to bury, may at some future date have to be dealt with.  We see this in the news all the time.  I think the best solution is to recognize, resolve and move on, leaving behind the pain of the past.  Sometimes the consequences can be harsh, but better a short period of pain, than a lifetime of remorse.

Buddha once said, “If we live in the past, then we become depressed….”  If we cannot release past events, they will drag us down.   By resolving and letting go, we become free to grow and improve in our lives.

So, release and be free.  There is no reason to burden our lives with old past secrets that bring us no value.  Life is great and worth each minute we put into it.  Don’t burden it with needless secrets from the past that can bring us no reward.